


The Perils of Nico Watching Your Children

by displayheartcode



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Post-Series, obviously jossed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-18
Updated: 2014-06-18
Packaged: 2018-02-05 04:45:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1805800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/displayheartcode/pseuds/displayheartcode
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The spawn of a Jackson and Chase never meant good news to Nico. But he somehow got roped into babysitting, anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Perils of Nico Watching Your Children

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Snowstorm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snowstorm/gifts).



> This was written for the wonderful Snow a while back and way before Son of Neptune came out.
> 
> The Heroes of Olympus can't be mine because: A) I'm not Rick Riordan, and B) I'm not Disney nor Hyperion.

**Lorne** : (singing) Go to sleep, lullaby, you've been fed and you're sleepy. You'll be with Uncle Lorne, who in no way resents not being asked to go to the ballet. And is certainly, not thinking, of selling you to the first vampire cult that makes him a decent offer...

—Angel

* * *

"Hey, it's Nico, again," I pushed the phone closer to my ear. "Remember that one time when we saved the day? Because I think you kind of owe me. Please call back soon." I ended the message and put the phone back on the counter.

What the Hades possessed me to agree to this? The Ghost King should not be watching a little kid on a Friday evening. He should be doing super awesome things like hanging out in cemeteries, and averting an apocalypse. But, no. I had to agree to Annabeth and watch her son, as she and Percy would be enjoying their date night.

Uh, ew? I don't want to imagine what Percy and Annabeth do during their alone time. I've convinced myself for years that they would play scrabble or some mundane game.

That's it. They're playing Monopoly. I just know it. And that would give me full rights to interrupt them and nag the question for when they will be home.

I thought babysitting was supposed to be easy: Feed kid, bathe kid, dress kid, put kid to sleep. It wasn't supposed to be an ongoing battle between him and me. Maybe I unintentionally insulted a god and this was his/her way of getting even?

Charles 'Chase' Jackson giggled from his seat at the table, and then chucked a half-eaten cookie at me. I ducked as the slobber-covered treat went over my head and hit the fridge. For a three-year-old, he had frighteningly good aim. He was obviously Percy and Annabeth's son, the dark hair and grey eyes alone were proof. That, and the occasional water power. I had to learn that the hard way after his third bath.

"I blame you for this," I said to my sort-of-nephew. My shirt was still damped from the second bath.

He cooed and gave me this adorable look with his big grey eyes. A dimple even appeared on his chin. He pudgy arms shot up, asking, "Pwease, Uncle Nico. I wuv you."

The last time he said that, I found that he'd slipped a crab down my back. I looked around the kitchen and winced. There was a splatter of applesauce on the ceiling, a mess of vegetables near the sink, and a grape juice stain on the white carpet.

Little, plastic dinosaurs were in mid-battle on the table. Chase took a large T-Rex and positioned it near a small army of plastic people. He mimicked the noise of a roar and people screaming. The T-Rex swooped down and 'ate' a figure that looked suspiciously like me.

I gulped.

The dark-haired toddler looked up from the carnage and gave me a sweet smile.

Before Annabeth (or the kid) was going to kill me, I was seriously going to need help. I resisted the urge to run far away. "One second," I said, picking the phone up again and dialed a different number.

"Hello?" Hazel's voice was faint. "Who is this?"

"Hi!" I forced myself to sound chipper. "Are you doing anything?"

There was a cough in the background. Hazel took the phone away from her and talked to whoever it was. "Uh, I am–

"–And Frank says hi!" came his voice from beyond.

"–Sorry, Nico. Why you ask?"

"Oh, hi, Frank." I kept my eye on Chase as he caused mass chaos with his dinosaur army. "Just a little babysitting problem."

"You want me to come to Maine? Now?"

"Please?"

"No," Hazel said firmly. "I'm really sorry, but I just came home. Good luck, and tell the others I said hi." She then had the nerve to hang up on me.

Bah. Sisters.

* * *

"Hey, Grover! What's up?"

"Nico. I'm busy right now. Some kid is trying to control all the pine trees at a Christmas store."

"…Really? That's your excuse?"

"You do need to get a girlfriend."

* * *

"Piper, excuse me?"

"It's just that you agreed to do this on a Friday evening. You had nothing better to do. You're getting lonely, and it isn't healthy."

"Please don't set me up with another co-worker."

"Don't worry, you scared most of them off."

"Then care to come over and help?"

"Nico. I would love to, but I have a prior engagement to go to. Give the Jackson-Chase family my love. Au revoir!"

* * *

"Rachel, I'm begging you."

There was a long pause. "You're having that much trouble controlling one kid, Ghost Boy?"

"He's envisioning my death by a T-Rex."

"And you're still scared of him? Pathetic. Go man up and call me later."

* * *

"The last time I agreed to anything you said, we ended up in Duat for a week."

"It wasn't that bad."

"Yes. Yes, it was that bad."

"Then do you know any spells that can control a toddler?" I asked Walt.

The Egyptian Magician thought about it. "Not at all."

"Are you sure?"

"Very."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Because you can always send over some of those Shabti, Walt. Hey, Walt? You still there? Hello?"

After four more calls I gave up. They were busy, trying to manage their own kids, or stopping the end of the world. I was getting desperate enough to call Chiron. Or Aunt Sally and Uncle Paul. I sighed. Why did Percy and Annabeth had to go on a date, of all things? I thought the whole point of marriage was about...marriage? That sort of stuff. You know, less kissy-kissy and more parenting.

I looked to where Chase was and expected to see him and his T-Rex eating more people. But Chase wasn't there. "Chase?" I called out, feeling slightly anxious.

There were no sounds, only silence and the leaky faucet.

Hades. Freaking Hades' gym shorts. Now Annabeth will be having my innards for breakfast. I craned my head and faintly heard the noise of the pipes creaking; the little guy must be filling the bathtub up or turned the shower on. The things a legacy of Poseidon would do with the brains of Athena.

Scary, scary thought.

I tiptoed up the stairs and made a turn into the dark hallway. The door leading to the bathroom was opened slightly, a sliver of light creped out and drenched the floor. Thin steam wavered out and the smell of lemon soap was heavy in the air.

I opened the door to see more steam, and the foggy outline of Chase playing in a puddle of water, his faithful T-Rex making small splashes. His back was against the tub that was overfilling with water and Annabeth's shampoo. He paused and looked at me with unblinking eyes.

"I wanna 'nother bath," he said.

I let out a breath of relief. Thank the gods that he wasn't in the garage trying to find old weapons, or attempting to find the knives in the kitchen. "Hey," I said. "Since you took so many baths today, how about we go watch a movie downstairs?

"Nope. Bath time."

I knelt down and was about to pick him up when Chase smiled again. The water grew in size and swirled around my feet. My socks and shoes were instantly dampened, and it continued to move. A large, watery-hand rose up and made a grab for me. In retrospect, awesome! I never knew a legacy could be so powerful! But what I was thinking during that was really more 'Ahh! Scary water thing!'

I did a manly scream in surprise and toppled backwards into the hallway.

Water rushed over my head and carried me into a bumpy and painful ride down the stairs. I swore every time my head hit the hard wood, and spat bathwater out of my opened mouth. Unable to get control of my limbs, I was incapable of getting any control here. My back struck the main floor, my arms and legs spread out over the wet and cold wood. Through my damp eyelashes, I could appreciate the view of the ceiling that Annabeth designed.

Very pretty. It kept swirling and moving. Pretty…

"Cool!" Chase exclaimed from the top of the stairs. His face looked paler, and eyes drooping from the large amount of his powers.

I was going to say something that I would later regret when the door in the kitchen made a loud noise—someone was entering the house.

"Nico? Chase?" Rachel's voice was bliss to listen to. "I just had a vision, and it wasn't pretty." Her footsteps echoed as she walked in my general direction. Her red curls came into view and she covered her twitching lips with a hand.

Gee. Thanks.

Then again, I have to somehow see this from her perspective. You have the ultimate badass (me) sprawled over the floor, wet and dazed. And you have the Demon-That-Should-Not-Be-Named (Chase-nephew-dearest) grinning like a maniac. I'm sure in Rachel Land, where there are talking rainbows and killer unicorns, that she would find this scene to be among the lines of 'funny' and 'amusing.'

"Please," I croaked, lifting my throbbing head up. "I'm not man enough to take care of this."

"…And the little robin said to the little bird, 'Little bird, in the sky, little bird, won't you fly?'"

The house got cleaned, the water mess upstairs was mopped, the Spawn was in cleaner pajamas, and Rachel was reading him to sleep. I watched from the rocking chair, applying an ice-pack to my head, as Rachel used some long forgotten magic of calming the Spawn down.

Maybe it was the head injury? Because I couldn't stop babbling in her presence. I never babble, it would ruin my cool emo-brooding-guy look. Also, in the way back of my mind, I thought seeing this was...sweet. You have Chase in his dinosaur Pj's, all curled up in bed. There's Rachel sitting next to him, animatedly reading the story. Yeah, it was cute to watch.

Chase eventually nodded off and drifted to Chase Land. Which is a place where I would never want to be. Rachel gave him a kiss on the head and then motioned me to leave the room with her. I gently shut the door behind us and let out a quiet laugh.

"You're amazing," I said in a whisper. "You know that?"

"I've always known that."

A few minutes later we were eating some cookies, lounging on the couch, and watching a movie. The volume was down low so that Demon-Spawn-Who-Must-Not-Be Named wouldn't wake up. The unusual amount of tension that got built up started to fade away as the opening scenes started.

"When will they be back?" Rachel asked. She took a blue cookie from the plate and broke it down the gooey middle. Handing me the other half, I took a thoughtful bite out of it.

"Since Percy refuse to answer my calls, he last said that they'll be home around midnight. Please stay." I tried to keep the begging tone down a few notches.

Rachel leaned back and crossed her legs; a red eyebrow ached. "Normally, I would tease you for this, but the little guy got you good."

I lifted the ice-pack to show off my lump. "Well, I'm not dead yet."


End file.
